I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
splinters make it hard to masturbate
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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