How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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