The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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