Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so let's talk penis.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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