...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
