PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
as a side note pls kill me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
