Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
