just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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