You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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