Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize