Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
