question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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