How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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