You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
