On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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