maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
