I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize