He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
