if you like me you must not know who I am
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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