Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize