if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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