No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
