i always forget guys have bellybuttons
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize