I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
