We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
