This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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