We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
