Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
