Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
