i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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