Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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