Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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