i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize