College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it because I queefed?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
