you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sarcasm needs its own font
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
