I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
