How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
