Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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