I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
