I love black thongs
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
