so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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