My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
too bad you live with your parents still
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
