i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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