at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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