I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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