If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
