My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
