Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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