For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
