Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
