what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
