I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
