My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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