you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
