whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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