They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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