Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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