is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Randomize
