the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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