just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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